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FIC: The Majestic Art of Self Preservation (Harry/Draco)


Title: The Majestic Art of Self Preservation
Author: rickey_a
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~9700
Beta thanks: the_ghost_11 and a second thanks to Sevfan over at Hexfiles for the additional beta on the updated version.

Summary: If they can rebuild Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy can rebuild his life. Shockingly, Harry Potter wants to be included.

A/N: My post DH H/D scenario. Generic DH Spoiler Warning.

ETA Oct 5 '07: I've revisited this fic, made some corrections, and added a new ending. I think I'm much happier with it now.



The Majestic Art of Self Preservation

In the weeks following Potter’s defeat of the Dark Lord, a strange fog seemed to roll in and overtake Draco Malfoy’s life. His life was seemingly dreamlike, as if he were watching it but not actually living it. His father was, seemingly, not his father. Well, certainly not the man he had known the first eighteen years of his life. If Azkaban had broken him, the reforming Ministry of Magic came to sweep away the pieces. Draco wasn’t stupid. He knew that his father considered his life forfeit and was doing everything to ensure a future for him and his mother.

For the first time in his life Lucius Malfoy admitted mea culpa and agreed to whatever obscenely humiliating terms the Ministry could come up with for his cooperation. He sang like a bird. He told all he knew of the other Death Eaters, who was under the Imperius Curse, who was being blackmailed with their family’s lives, who were the Dark Lord’s strongest supporters and every last scrap of information on them. For over two weeks Malfoy Manor was opened to the Ministry Aurors to search and remove any questionable artifacts. In return no charges would be pressed against Narcissa or Draco and Lucius would endure a house arrest for two years. This included submitting to wear a magical tracking anklet that also limited the forms of magic he could use, including Apparition. If at the end of two years he met all the terms of his house arrest, he could look forward to a ten-year probationary period.

Lucius sulked about the Manor as a miserable ghost of his former self. The revolting display of self-pity made Draco’s stomach turn and yet he was so touched by his father’s sacrifice that he wanted to skewer himself over his own thoughts.

It was his mother who showed him the Daily Prophet’s cover story of the rebuilding of Hogwarts. After several weeks of rest and seclusion, Harry Potter and his friends had returned to help the Hogwarts staff. There was a call for all wizards and witches to help in any way they could, be it one day, three days or the rest of the summer to help prepare the school for September first. The same article also announced that all students would be repeating their previous year including seventh years, who could return as “eighth years” and take their NEWTs.

“You have to go back to Hogwarts, Draco. You will never find a place in this world otherwise,” Narcissa said with an urgent look in her usually sad blue eyes.

“How?” Draco asked, unsure as how to put the fragmented pieces of his life back together.

“Go help them.”

“When?”

“Immediately. Go today. Throw yourself at their feet, Harry Potter’s feet if need be. He will help you. This I know,” his mother answered, then affectionately pushed his overgrown hair out of his eyes with her slim fingers. “There is no shame in survival.”

Draco couldn’t help but wonder if his mother meant himself or his father by that last comment. Most likely both, he surmised.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

“Potter,” Draco called out from a few meters away.

Potter was working with about a dozen others restoring the Great Hall. He turned around just as Draco had walked up close.

“Malfoy?” Potter said in genuine surprise.

Draco’s heart was pounding in his chest. “Professor McGonagall sent me to find you.”

“Professor McGonagall?” Potter asked, eyeing Draco suspiciously with Granger and Weasley now flanking his sides to join in the gawking.

“Yes.” Draco took a breath, keeping his eyes locked with Potter’s in an attempt to ignore his entourage. “I asked her if I could return to take my NEWTs this year. She said that would be fine, but when I asked her about helping with the rebuild, she told me to come see you.”

“Oh,” Potter stated, looking more confused than ever.

“You want to help?” Granger asked, her eyebrows raised so high that Draco thought they might fly off her forehead.

“Yes,” Draco replied, desperately trying to keep his voice even and his body still.

“Why?” Potter asked.

“Because this is my school and I want to make sure it’s ready on September first.” Draco was finally able to say the answer that he had been practicing the entire walk over. The three of them just stared at him oddly then backed up a few steps to have a quick private conference. As Draco let his eyes finally look about the rest of the Hall, he realized that everyone had now stopped working and was looking right at him. He took another deep breath and steeled his resolve.

Potter stepped forward from the little caucus and quietly said, “Come with me.” He didn’t wait for Draco to reply but instead walked confidently right past him and out the entrance. It took a few seconds for Draco to get his body to respond and fall in step beside him. Silently, he followed Potter outside the main entrance and across the grounds. Potter said nothing. As they continued to walk, Draco had the sinking feeling that Potter was going to escort him off the property but instead they turned and headed towards the Gamekeeper’s hut. Draco could see Hagrid moving stones to rebuild a small retaining wall around the perimeter. Granger must have thought this one up.

“Oi, ’Arry,” called out Hagrid. “I thought you were in the Great Hall today.”

“Hi, Hagrid. I am. I’m just walking Malfoy here over to help you.”

“Good on you, Malfoy,” Hagrid said with a smile.

Draco couldn’t imagine what the giant oaf had to smile about. Draco knew a test when he saw one. “Hello, Hagrid. Yes, I am here to help. Just tell me what to do.”

Potter and Hagrid exchanged shocked yet approving looks. Hagrid clapped Draco on the back and sent him several feet forward. Draco had to bite back the insult on his tongue.

“Well then, I’ll let you get to it,” Potter stated as he slowly turned and walked away.

Draco spent the afternoon doing the most physical labor he had ever remembered doing his entire life. Sure he was using some levitation spells, but he was using his mother’s old wand and his magic was off. Mostly it was physical. He was sweating. Malfoys did not sweat. It was absolutely appalling. He even had to pull his shoulder length hair into a ponytail as it felt so hot against his neck. But somehow with every stone moved, with every shovel of dirt, Draco felt relief to his spiritual aches with the forming of physical ones. As the sun began to make its way lower in the sky, Potter reappeared. If Draco wasn’t mistaken, the git looked surprised that Draco was still there and still standing.

“Hi, Hagrid. How did it go?” asked Potter.

“I reckon Malfoy did himself an honest day’s work today.”

Draco resisted the urge to roll his eyes and kept silent as he watched on from a few feet away.

“We finally finished the Great Hall. The house-elves are going to serve dinner there in about a half an hour.” Potter looked over to Draco. “You’re welcome to join us.”

“No thank you,” Draco said as politely as humanly possible. “I told my mother that I’d return for dinner.”

“Suit yourself,” Potter replied with his typically annoying shoulder shrug then turned back to Hagrid. “We’re planning on taking a break tonight and starting on the second floor classrooms tomorrow.”

“I best go wash up then.” Hagrid turned to Draco just before he headed to his hut. “Thanks for the help today. Now a lot of folks might be thinkin’ you’re just doin’ it for show, but I know better.” Hagrid then gave a huge wink and headed off.

“Well, I best get going myself. Where should I go tomorrow?” Draco asked.

“What do you mean?” Potter asked, almost as clueless as when Draco had first shown up in the Great Hall.

“Tomorrow? Should I meet here with Hagrid again or do you need help with the classrooms?”

“You’re coming back?”

“If you’ll have me, yes.”

“Oh. For how long?”

“As long as it takes.”

Potter studied Draco’s face. Draco found it unnerving.

“You want to help out full time?” Potter finally asked.

“Yes.”

“All right,” Potter said nervously. “Breakfast is at eight. We’re starting on the classrooms at nine. Oh, and you don’t need to go to the gates to Apparate; the wards haven’t been put back up yet. McGonagall and a few other professors are still working it all out.”

“Fine then. Good night.” Draco was about to Apparate home, but noticed that Potter was still staring. “Anything else?”

“Why are you here?” Potter asked, once again.

“I told you. I wish to return on the first of September and I want to be a part of getting the castle ready. Besides, there needs to be some Slytherin representation.”

Potter smiled back at him. Damn, it was a nice smile. Draco tried to keep his concentration.

“Well if you are going to be here full time, you’re welcome to move in. There’s about thirty or so of us besides the professors that are living here now. Most other people will come for just a day or two at a time when they can spare it.”

“Thank you. I’ll consider it. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” Potter replied.

Draco immediately Disapparated to avoid any further conversation.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The next few days Draco spent helping to magically repair various classrooms and hallways. He spoke only when absolutely necessary and when the house-elves brought out sandwiches for lunch he always found a secluded corner to quickly eat and then get back to work. The dirty looks and whispers weren’t so bad. It was Potter’s friendly daily greetings and fly by compliments that were grating to his nerves. “Good work, Draco.” “Thanks for coming today, Draco.” “Nice spell work, Draco.” Just why the hell had Potter decided to start calling him Draco?

At the end of the third day Potter cornered him in the Charms classroom. “You’ve helped out a lot today, Draco. Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

“Thank you, Potter,” Draco answered with a strong emphasis on the personal address, “but I have other plans this evening.”

“Why are you here?” Potter asked, yet again.

“I told you I want to return to school. I want to be a part of getting it ready.”

“That’s a bullshit answer.”

“It’s the truth,” Draco replied defensively, feeling far more comfortable challenging Potter rather than accepting the man’s compliments.

“Maybe in part, but there has to be more.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t know,” Potter replied in a soft voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s good that you’re here. I just want to know.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Draco asked, surprised by his own blunt honesty.

“I’m tired of fighting. We can rebuild Hogwarts. We can rebuild the wizarding world. Why can’t we make it whatever we want? Why do we have to be enemies?”

Draco stared at Potter’s solemn eyes. Fuck, they were so green. Part of him wanted to tell Potter to piss off, but the other part…well maybe there were three parts. Part of him wanted to make peace and another part of him wanted to tackle Potter to the ground, snog him senseless, run his fingers through that unruly hair and rut against him.

Draco finally settled on a diplomatic reply. “You were never my enemy, rival perhaps, but not my enemy.”

“No, I suppose not.” Potter ran a hand through his hair. As Draco watched, he could feel his cock start to harden at the sight of it.

After a silent moment, Potter asked, yet again, “Why are you here?”

“Maybe it’s just too fucking depressing at home and I’d rather be here doing something.”

Harry smiled.

“What?” Draco asked nervously.

“I think that’s the most honest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Well don’t let it go to your head.”

Harry smiled again, turned and left with a small wave.

Shite, when had he become Harry?

That evening Draco packed his old school trunk and informed his parents that he would be living at Hogwarts. His father nodded without a shred of emotion. His mother looked relieved.

In the morning after leaving his owl off at the owlery, Draco dragged his trunk into the Slytherin common room. He went for a quick survey of the dorm and confirmed what he had thought: that no one else was staying there. The thought of actually sleeping in his old room and staring at Crabbe’s bed sent a wave of nausea through him so he just unpacked a few things onto the common room table and decided that he could sleep on the sofa.

As he was leaving, he ran into professor Slughorn.

“Ah, I thought I heard someone,” Slughorn said.

“Yes, I’m going to be staying here. The daily Apparition to and from Wiltshire is exhausting.”

“Don’t blame you one bit. Actually, I’m relieved to see someone in the Slytherin house move in. Just let me know if you need anything.”

Draco nodded. As Slughorn walked away from him, he realized that Slughorn had never given him the time of day previously. The world was indeed changing and it was frightening.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

A week of hard labor later, Draco was having breakfast in the Great Hall when he noticed a significant change to the Master List. The Master List was Granger’s creation. A large parchment poster listing all the various work that needed to be done and a place for dates and initials for work schedule, completion and final inspection. The Quidditch pitch repair had been added and it looked as if at least a dozen professional league players were due to arrive the next day to work on it. Draco’s mind couldn’t help but wander to his carefree days of Quidditch and his long-standing rivalry with Harry. This of course led to his more recent memory of Harry diving in on a broom and saving him from wild magical fire. He was startled out of his reverie by someone sitting next to him.

“Mind if I sit here?” It was Harry.

“That’s fine,” Draco said, desperately trying to sound nonchalant.

“I’m glad I caught you today. You’re usually up and out before everyone.”

“I don’t want to spoil anyone’s appetite.” In his peripheral vision, Draco could see Harry frowning.

“Anyway,” Harry said, obviously choosing to ignore the comment, “I wanted to make sure you knew about the Quidditch pitch work tomorrow.”

“Yes, hard to miss on Granger’s monstrosity over there.” Draco picked up his fork to toy with his eggs.

“You’ll help then?”

For the life of him, Draco could not figure out why Harry was being so eager about it. He dared to face Harry who was now chomping on a piece of toast impossibly covered with a half inch of jam. “I know this is getting redundant, but why do you care?”

Harry finished chewing before answering, “Dunno, you always liked Quidditch. I don’t think it’ll take the whole day and it might be fun to get in some flying with the pros.”

“Maybe,” was the best that Draco could come up with so he sipped his tea and prayed that Harry would let him finish his breakfast in peace.

“Professor Slughorn said that you moved into the Slytherin dorm.”

“He would be correct.”

“You don’t have to stay there all by yourself. You could move into the Gryffindor dorm with us. Plenty of room.”

Draco gave what he hoped was his best ‘you-must-be-out-of-your-tree’ look. Harry rolled his eyes so it must have been fairly decent.

“Suit yourself,” Harry said, “but the offer stands.”

Luckily for Draco, Harry was more hungry than interested in torturing him with the social habits of Gryffindors so he was able to finish his tea and depart before the rest of the troops arrived.

The next day was certainly the most entertaining Draco had had since returning to Hogwarts. The work of repairing the pitch with about twenty-five others was interesting but the real treat was after lunch when everyone went flying and shot goals with several Quaffles. It was the first time Draco had done anything even remotely fun in well over a year. The occasional furtive looks from Harry were a tad disconcerting but even that didn’t ruin the day.

Everyone partook of a picnic dinner by the lake and spirits seemed to be running at a new high. Draco even managed to have a civil exchange with Neville Longbottom about helping to work on the greenhouses the following week.

Eventually, Draco pulled away from the main group and looked on from a safe distance. Feeling melancholy was something new for Draco, but he had been feeling it more and more frequently since the end of the war. He wasn’t sure just how to deal with it. Originally, he thought solitude would be the key to his survival but now as he watched groups swap stories and pass around bottles of Firewhisky he couldn’t help but second-guess his instincts.

However, the time to reflect was cut short, as Draco was abruptly pulled onto a broom. Strong arms wrapped around his body and guided the broom higher and higher into the darkening sky. Draco didn’t need to turn his head, but he did anyway. Harry Potter and his fierce green eyes were easily visible despite the fading daylight.

“What are you doing?” Draco yelled over the rushing wind against his face.

“I’m taking you for a flight.”

“Yes, I see that. Are you going to explain why?”

Only Harry didn’t explain. Instead, he flew recklessly through the night air. Draco closed his eyes and gripped the broom tighter. The feel of Harry’s chest against his back and his arms about his own was more exhilarating than the flight itself. The whole situation was intolerable.

“Put me down!” Draco demanded as forcefully as he could, considering the feeling of being alone with Harry on a broom was even better than he had remembered and even better now their lives were no longer in danger of ending at any moment.

“We need to talk first.” Harry turned and guided the broom to the Astronomy Tower.

Draco felt his heart race even faster. He hadn’t been there since the night of Dumbledore’s death. Harry steered them through the tower window and gently set them to the floor.

Draco scrambled away several feet before turning around to face the one person he had truly been trying to avoid. “Well?” he asked.

“No one else here. Just me and you and what we say here stays here, okay?”

“Okay what?” Draco pretty much concluded that he would never understand how to speak Gryffindor.

“Let’s just have it out and answer all those questions.”

“You’re the one who’s all questions, Potter.”

“And you don’t have questions? I see you looking at me. You’re dying to ask something. I think you’re going to keel over from the curiosity.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” Harry said with an infuriatingly smug look on his face.

“Fine. I’ll ask first. Why are you being so nice to me?” Draco asked as if it was the most horrible offence in the universe.

Harry stared into his eyes and seemed to be contemplating his answer. “Because I think you deserve a second chance. I think you’re trying. I think Dumbledore was right. Also, because I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t try before.”

“Try what?” Draco asked, barely able to follow what Harry was saying.

“That night, sixth year in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.”

Draco just stared and waited for Harry to continue.

“There was a moment that I thought…maybe…I dunno. I thought perhaps I could talk to you, but then your wand was drawn and so was mine.”

Draco paused at the realization that his current wand left him completely vulnerable. He replied, “There are no wands drawn now, Harry.” Draco gasped at his mistake and wondered if Harry had noticed.

“I know, Draco.” He had noticed.

Backing up a few steps, Draco found the wall and slid down to sit. Slowly Harry approached and sat next to him.

“I’m also sorry for that curse,” Harry confessed softly. “I didn’t know what it did. I’m thankful everyday that Snape showed up when he did.”

Draco nodded and Harry continued. “I was here the night Dumbledore died.”

“What?” Draco half swallowed the word.

“I was under my invisibility cloak. Dumbledore Stunned me frozen so I wouldn’t interfere.”

Staring into Harry’s eyes, Draco simply shook his head.

“I know you lowered your wand. I know you couldn’t kill him and Dumbledore knew it too.”

“Not that it mattered.”

“But you see, it did matter. Dumbledore was already dying. He had arranged everything with Snape. He knew your soul was worth saving and Snape thought so too.”

Draco was beside himself. This was all too much, far too many things he hadn’t known. Not caring if Harry saw anymore, he blinked his eyes and let the tears pooling there fall down his cheeks, pride be damned. Draco was surprised when Harry’s didn’t react but simply watched him with tears welling in his own eyes.

After a short pause Harry said, “I thought you deserved to know.”

Draco nodded twice then fished out a handkerchief from his pocket. He dried his face and took several deep breaths. “Thank you.”

Harry’s lips twitched to a fraction of smile before he asked, “Can you tell me about when Greyback brought us to the Manor?”

“What do you want me to say? That I was frightened out of my skull? That one day I woke up and my life was a nightmare?”

“If it’s true, then yes.”

“Well it was, from the moment my father was sent to Azkaban. And if you want to hear me say it, I will…I was wrong,” Draco snapped. Astonishingly, Harry didn’t take the opportunity to rub it in and just sat quietly looking at him.

“The Dark Lord was nothing like I imagined. He destroyed my father. My father was a proud and noble pureblood wizard and the Dark Lord made him into a sniveling servant. I don’t think I ever understood how sick and twisted he was until it was too late. After my father returned from Azkaban, I asked him why the Dark Lord was so obsessed with you. He told me that it was prophesied that you could be the one with the power to destroy him. I realized that it was the only way I would ever be free again. So when you, Weasley and Granger were caught… I couldn’t …”

“What?” Harry gently asked.

“I was a coward, okay.”

“No you weren’t.”

“I was. I couldn’t do much, but what I could, I did.”

“And back in the Room of Requirement?” Harry asked.

“Coward as usual. I was hiding. It was just serendipity once again that you showed up. Why is that?”

“We were searching for the—”

“No, I mean why were you always showing up? Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom? The Astronomy Tower? The Manor? The Room of Requirement?”

“I’ve been thinking about that too. I don’t have any answers. That’s why I wanted to talk. Maybe try and make some sense of it.”

“Ha, good luck with that. I did try to help though.”

“When?”

“When you were searching for the diadem. Crabbe and Goyle had no idea what the Dark Lord was really like. I wanted to help you. Harry…” Harry’s eyes snapped to his. “I’m glad you killed him. I wanted you to kill him.”

“You’re not a coward, Draco.”

“How do you figure that?”

“You came back to Hogwarts.”

“That’s just self-preservation.”

“Still, you’re no coward. I don’t see any of your housemates here.”

Draco shrugged his shoulders. After a few silent minutes, Draco rose to his feet and stated, “Look, I’m exhausted. Can we leave it at this?”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed, and held out his hand for Draco to help him up.

After a moment of hesitation, Draco reached out and took Harry’s hand. It was warm and his skin felt a little dry but nice just the same. He pulled Harry to his feet and for a split second they were nose to nose until Harry let go of his hand and took a step back.

“Thanks,” Harry said with a look on his face that made it seem as if he was thinking about something else.

“Yes, thank you as well.”

“Ummm,” Harry mumbled as he reached for his broom. “Do you need a ride back down?”

“I’ll walk, thank you.” They may have bared each other’s souls, but hell had not yet frozen over.

“All right then. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Draco breathed a sigh of relief when Harry finally mounted his broom and flew out the window.

Draco never imagined that he’d be lying on the Slytherin common room sofa wanking to the sight of Harry Potter on a broom, but that’s what it had come to. Or rather, he was coming to. He had tried to think of Blaise and their late-night fumbling, but it all came back to Harry, straight, savior-of-the-world Harry. The folly of it was unfathomable. He even dared to wonder if Harry might actually be doing the same.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The next two days were clouded over with a strange calm. Harry was noticeably absent, as were Granger and Weasley. Draco tried not to think about his last encounter with Harry, but it truly was no use. He helped out a crew of about six others that included Loony Lovegood to restore and re-hang various portraits about the school. Her staring was almost as bad as Harry’s. At the end of the second day, she caught up to him leaving the Great Hall after dinner.

“It’s okay to miss him you know,” she stated as if he should have the remotest clue as to what she was talking about. The sad part of course being that he did.

“Who?”

“Harry. They’ll be back tomorrow. They’ve been helping out with the re-opening of the Wheezes.”

“The what?”

“The twins’ store. Well I suppose just George’s now, very sad. Anyway, most of the shops on Diagon Alley reopened today.” She looked wide-eyed at Draco and waited for him to respond.

“Oh,” was all he could think of to say without being rude. He had been making a concerted effort not to be intentionally rude and it wasn’t easy.

“Anyway, I thought you might like to know.”

“Why would you think that I’d want to know?” Draco asked, somewhat mystified.

“Because I can tell you miss him.”

“I do not miss Harry.”

She smiled knowingly at Draco’s use of Harry’s name. “That’s okay, Draco. You don’t have to tell me, but I think you should also know that I think he likes you too. He talks about you quite a bit.”

“What does he say?” Draco winced at how quickly he let that question slip out.

“Nothing in particular, just that he’s worried about you being so alone. I think he also likes to make sure that everyone knows so that no one gives you a hard time. By the way, I think it’s great that you’re here.”

“You do?”

“Sure. People really shouldn’t hate Slytherins anymore than the Death Eaters hated the Muggle-borns.”

Draco became alarmed by the fact that she was making sense to him. He decided that he better cut the conversation off before it went too far. “Well, all right then. Thanks and good night.”

“Good night,” she said with a big smile, and then skipped off down the hall.

Lovegood cornered Draco again at breakfast and invited him to join the group working on the Ravenclaw dorm that day. He agreed before he realized that the Golden Trio was also in the work party. He tried to keep his distance from Harry but that turned out to be futile. Of course, Harry was the first person to notice the difficulties he was having with his levitation spells.

“Are you all right?” Harry asked with far more concern than he had a right to.

“I’m fine,” Draco said through gritted teeth.

“It’s just that you seem to be having trouble with—” Harry stared at the wand in Draco’s hand and recognition showed in his expression. “Where’s that wand from?”

“It’s an old one of my mother’s.” Draco then added before Harry could ask, “She’s using another spare wand that was her grandmother’s.”

“Oh.” Harry furrowed his brow and it looked as if he might hurt himself by thinking so hard.

“Don’t worry, I don’t want my old wand back.” Draco looked about the room and noticed everyone else pretending to be working but in actuality listening to them.

Harry looked relieved. “I locked it away in Gringotts. I figured that it would be best if—”

“Really, Harry, I’m okay with it. Besides, I feel like my magic has changed so much that I doubt it would work that well for me either.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Ollivanders reopened.”

“I don’t think that’s an option.”

“Oh.”

“I’m going to go see Professor Slughorn. We were planning to set up the Slytherin dorm wards and passwords today.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at dinner?”

“Sure. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad that you used my wand. It made me a part of it all in some obscure way.” Draco stayed to watch Harry smile before he turned and left the room. A burst of chatter rose quickly as he stepped through the Ravenclaw dorm entrance and into the hall.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Draco skipped dinner that night in favor of eating a tin of biscuits that his mother had sent that day. He stared at the almost empty parchment before him. Four reject letters lay crumpled on the floor.

The dungeon door opened with a loud creaking noise that startled Draco out of his thoughts. It was Harry, of course.

“Hi,” Harry said, entering the common room. “The door was open. I thought you were going to set up the password today?”

“Professor Slughorn got called away by McGonagall for something or other.”

“Oh. Everything okay? You weren’t at dinner.”

“Wasn’t hungry,” Draco answered, and then looked back at his unwritten letter. Perhaps if he seemed busy, Harry would go away.

Unfortunately, Harry was not one to take subtle hints. He took a seat in one of the chairs next to the sofa and studied Draco’s littering of possessions and bed linens. “You’re sleeping here?”

“Seemed like a good idea. I’m the only one here.” Draco kept his eyes on his parchment and chewed on the end of his quill as if in thought.

“I told you that you were welc—” Harry stopped at the sight of Draco’s stare skewering him to the back of the chair. “Okay, I get it. No Gryffindor dorm for you,” Harry said with a bit of laughter.

Draco diverted his eyes back to the parchment.

“What are you writing?” Harry said, still not taking the hint.

“Nothing of your concern.”

“Oh really? Accio!” The parchment sailed through the air and into Harry’s hand.

“That’s private!” Draco seethed.

“Sorry,” said Harry, looking slightly panicked. “I was only playing around. Here.” Harry stood and stepped toward Draco to hand him the letter.

Draco refused to take it back. “Never mind,” he said, and stomped off through the common room and out the exit, desperate to get away from Harry before he lost his composure again.

A bewildered Harry looked at the parchment in his hand.

Dear Mr. Ollivander,
I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but

Harry grabbed a fresh piece of parchment and picked up the quill.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

When Draco returned from a long brisk walk around the school, the last thing he expected to see was Harry asleep on the sofa, his sofa, the sofa where he slept at night.

“Git,” Draco muttered, and was about to wake Harry up when he noticed the handwritten letter open on the table. Tentatively, he picked it up.

Dear Mr. Ollivander,
I trust you are well. I have a favor to ask of you. Draco Malfoy has been helping us with the rebuild of Hogwarts. As you know I claimed his hawthorn wand months ago. For obvious reasons that wand is now stored away. Draco is currently borrowing his mother’s wand and it is far from optimal for him. I would greatly appreciate it if you would allow him to purchase a new wand from you. I know this is no small thing, but I truly believe that he intends only put it to good use. I also feel somewhat responsible for not being able to return his wand. We would like to visit your store as soon as possible. Please let me know if this is acceptable to you.

Kindest regards,
Harry Potter


Draco swallowed the lump in his throat and looked over at Harry, whose eyes were now open and watching him. “Why?” Draco choked out.

Keeping his eyes fixed on Draco, Harry sat up stretched his back. “This sofa sucks. You should really sleep in a bed.”

“Why?” Draco pressed.

“Because I wanted to.” Harry snatched the letter from Draco. “You got an owl in the owlry?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I need to send this.” Harry walked to the door and turned his head back to Draco. “Coming?”

They said nothing on their way to the owlery. After Harry had sent of Draco’s owl, the silence continued on the walk back. When they reached the point for them to go their separate ways to their own dorms, Harry broke and said, “Goodnight.”

“I don’t know what to say, Harry. By all measure, you should hate me.”

“But I don’t, so say goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Draco was just finishing his tea when the Gryffindors arrived at breakfast. An owl swooped in a moment later and dropped off a letter for Harry. Harry smiled wide as he read it and waved Draco over. Reluctantly, Draco took a last sip of tea and walked over to their table.

“Good morning,” Draco addressed the group. “I’m off to the second floor hallway today,” he added, so that he might escape any social interaction.

“Actually, I was thinking we could go to Diagon Alley after breakfast.” Harry looked happier than should legally be allowed.

“All right.” Draco could hear his voice quivering slightly.

“Meet me in the entrance hall in an hour?”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Draco nearly died of shock when Mr. Ollivander greeted him warmly. Of course, Harry was by his side, but still the man seemed far friendlier and relaxed than he would have imagined.

After trying about a half dozen wands, Draco bonded with a twelve-and-a-half-inch holly with a dragon heartstring wand.

“Quite a change from your previous wand,” Ollivander stated almost cryptically.

“I don’t think anyone is the same as before,” Draco said, not really needing to identify just what ‘before’ was.

“No, I don’t suppose we are,” Mr. Ollivander said, then looked back and forth from Draco to Harry.

Harry said nothing until they had left the shop. “I’m going to stop by and see George. Do you want to come?”

“That’s okay. I’m going to go home and return my mother’s wand. I’ll probably spend the night there too.” Draco wasn’t entirely sure why he was giving Harry such details.

“Okay then. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Draco nodded. “And Harry,”

Harry’s eyes met his.

“Thank you.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The next week was extremely busy at Hogwarts. A lot of new faces were volunteering and progress was really beginning to show. Draco did his best to lie low, work hard, and avoid the Golden Trio as much as possible. He would check Granger’s work detail list every morning and made sure he signed up for something at the other end of the castle from them. Harry didn’t really take the hint and kept on being friendly and tried to engage Draco at every turn. It left Draco as confused and empty as ever.

“Tonight they’re having a birthday party for me in the Great Hall,” Harry said, running after Draco just after lunch.

“Well happy birthday then,” Draco said, purposefully neutral.

“You’ll come, won’t you?”

“I wasn’t invited.”

“It’s my party and I’m inviting you.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Sod that. Come on, say you’ll be there.”

“Maybe.”

Harry smiled as if Draco had said ‘yes’.

As Harry walked away, it occurred to Draco that he had not celebrated his own eighteenth birthday. Instead, he had spent the day fearing for his life and it passed without even the recognition of his parents.

@@@@@@@@@

The Great Hall garishly decorated and filled with over a hundred people including every shape and size Weasley imaginable. Not that Draco would ever imagine such things. Lovegood approached him first and she proved useful in warding off other guests from either trying to engage him in small talk or hexing his bits off. So he simply nodded and sipped a glass of fine mulled wine as she nattered on about Nargles and Nymphmites, whatever those were. Occasionally, Harry would glance over and smile at him causing Draco’s knees to falter slightly. Draco raised his glass and gestured a toast the first time, but after that he did his best to feign that he didn’t notice him.

After an hour, which Draco considered a completely acceptable appearance under the circumstances, he was about to leave when the She-Weasel approached.

“Hi, Luna.” The Weasliette smiled then sneered to him, “What are you doing here, Malfoy?”

“I was just about to leave. You both enjoy your evening,” he said as politely as he could muster.

“You have some nerve,” she spat just as he turned away.

“I invited him, Ginny.” It was spoken softly and kindly.

Draco turned to see Harry looking as confident as the day he vanquished the Dark Lord.

“Yes, you graciously did and now I’ll take my leave.” Draco spoke formally and bowed slightly.

“You don’t have to go.” If Draco didn’t know better it sounded as if Harry was sincere, or perhaps he didn’t know better.

“Happy Birthday, Potter. Goodnight, all.” Draco quickly turned as walked as calmly as possible toward the exit. He was shaking by the time he reached the front courtyard and decided a moonlight walk around the lake would do him some good. Otherwise, he’d never get to sleep.

When Draco returned to the front hall, he stopped short at the sound of Harry’s voice from around the corner. Unable to help himself, Draco quietly pressed his back to the wall and listened.

“Really, I don’t get why you invited him.” Draco couldn’t believe it. It was the Weasliette and they were talking about him.

“I told you this already. We’re becoming…friends or something like that.”

“Be careful, Harry. Malfoy’s just being opportunistic and taking advantage of your generosity.”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s more than that. I can’t explain it.”

“Could you try?” She sounded desperate.

“It’s all these things. Ummm… the things that happened to us, from our duels and Quidditch matches to our fights, all of it leading to…”

“What, Harry?”

“My almost killing him sixth year, his attempt to kill Dumbledore, my using his wand, everything.”

Draco’s heart was pounding so loud he was sure that they would hear it.

“I don’t get it. What do you mean?”

“He didn’t want to turn us over to Voldemort.”

“That doesn’t mean—”

“Yes, it does,” Harry stated emphatically.

“Oh, Harry.” She sounded shocked. “He’s poison, I tell you.”

“That’s absurd!”

“No, it’s not. You weren’t here last year. He has quite the reputation for seduction and I’m sure there are notches on his bedpost to prove it.”

“What?”

“Well, I heard that mostly he was with Zabini, but sometimes there were other Slytherins or Ravenclaws that he’d seduce.”

“Guys?” Harry said, aghast.

“Yes. Come on, that shouldn’t surprise you.”

“No, I suppose not. But really, you think he’s trying to seduce me? That’s a bit farfetched, don’t ya think?”

“Not really, no.”

“Ginny,” Harry whined, and Draco could hear the rustling of robes as if they were hugging.

“Harry, listen to me,” she said quite seriously. “I keep thinking there’s a reason you haven’t come back to me.”

“I’ve told you, I’m just not ready to—”

“Listen to me, Harry. Listen. I love you, but I can’t help but wonder… actually I’ve always wondered…”

“Wondered what?”

“Never mind.”

“No, what?”

“You don’t want to hear it.”

“You can’t say something like that and walk away.”

Draco certainly hoped she wouldn’t.

“Fine, but I didn’t think your birthday party was the time or place we should do this.” There’s was a long pause and Draco could hear them both moving. “I don’t think you really love me.” She said it very quickly.

“I do!”

“Yes, but not that way.”

“What way?” Harry sounded as befuddled as ever.

“I’ve come to accept it.” It came out strangled, like she was crying. “You think you’re supposed to love me. You probably do, like a friend, like a sister.”

“Where is this coming from?” Harry sounded like he might be crying too. “Who told you that?”

“No one. It’s coming from inside, Harry.” She started to sob. “You can’t tell me it’s not true, can you?”

“Just because I don’t want to be with you right now, doesn’t mean that—”

“It does!”

“Oh god, Ginny. I’m so sorry.”

They were both crying and Draco could only surmise in each other’s arms. His stomach lurched and the guilt of listening in on something so private flowed through his veins. He remembered a frighteningly similar conversation that he had with Pansy the previous year. Draco couldn’t help but ponder why it was that the girls seemed to know before they did. He stood there silently listening to them cry and then collect themselves.

“Let’s go back in, before people come looking for you. It’s your birthday. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

“Oh, Gin, you didn’t. I wish you had told me sooner.”

“You weren’t exactly around. I mean, you left right away with Hermione and Ron to Australia, then you came straight back here. That kind of forced me to examine some things.”

“Oh, Gin. I’m such a git. Ron tried to warn me not to hurt you. I should have listened.”

“Let’s go back in. You ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Just promise me something, okay?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Be careful with Malfoy.”

“All right.”

Draco was sure they were still talking as they walked away, but he could no longer hear them. He swallowed the lump in his throat and made his way through the empty hallways back to the Slytherin dorm.

It was several days of carefully planned avoidance on Draco’s part before Harry caught up with him. Draco was having his morning tea when he noticed the Master List had his and Harry’s initials marked with the current date next to ‘The Room of Requirement’. When he turned back to is breakfast, Harry was pulling out the chair next to him.

“Good morning,” Harry said cheerfully.

“Good morning,” Draco replied softly.

“I think it’s time we see what happened to the Room of Requirement.”

“Don’t you think Weasley and Granger would be more suited to working with you?”

“No, actually I think you’re perfect…” Harry lingered on that word a moment then continued, “for the job.”

Draco almost bit his finger as he took a bite of his toast.

“Besides you know more about the curse Crabbe used.”

“Has anyone seen the damage?” Draco asked.

“Not since that day. Bill Weasley checked it and confirmed that the fire was out and retrieved Crabbe’s body, but I don’t think anyone else has gone there. We can go right after breakfast.”

“I don’t think I can go. I’ll tell Granger everything I can remember, but...”

“What?”

“I don’t want to go,” Draco snapped, and in an instant regretted it. He added more calmly, “That room holds a lot of unpleasant memories for me.”

“It’ll be fine. We’ll go together.”

“Stop it,” Draco said firmly, but tried not to be antagonistic.

“Stop what?”

“Thinking that I’m some lost Kneazle that you need to take in. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity. I just thought…” Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “We’ve both been through a lot. I thought we could help each other.”

“You have lots of friends, Harry, lots of friends who were there, who know. Why me?”

“Because maybe they don’t have what I need.”

Draco looked up from his tea. He replied slowly and carefully annunciated every word, “I don’t have anything that you need.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

They stared at each other and neither dared to speak. Draco took a last sip of tea and stood.

“Meet me in the seventh floor corridor in thirty minutes,” Harry said, as Draco started to walk away. Draco did not reply.

@@@@@@@@

Every fiber of his being screamed at him not to go, but forty minutes later Draco turned the corner to find Harry pacing in front of the entrance to the Room of Requirement.

“The entrance just appeared,” Harry said. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show.”

Draco drew his wand and walked towards the doorway. “Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

Harry opened the door and they stood in the archway gaping at the scene before them. The room was half filled with charred objects and scorch marks along the furnishings and walls, but it was instantly obvious that it was constantly changing. Here and there scorch marks would shrink and pieces of charred objects would come back to their original state.

“It’s like the room is healing itself,” Harry said in awe.

They both stepped in. Harry walked to the left, so Draco went to the right. The door closed behind them. They walked around the room looking up and down and touching things as they went. They met back in the middle of the far side.

Draco gave a long whistle then whispered, “It’s amazing.”

“This castle has more magic than anyone probably knows about.”

“I guess there isn’t really anything for us to—” Draco’s eyes fixed on the half burnt out vanishing cabinet. He froze.

“Draco?” Harry then realized what Draco was looking at. “Draco,” he said softly, and lifted his hand to rest on Draco’s shoulder.

“I’m fine,” Draco whispered, but couldn’t take his eyes from the cabinet.

“Draco, look at me.”

Draco turned his head and was trapped by Harry’s stare just a few inches away. Harry reached for his hand and the touch of his skin made Draco shudder.

“We all had difficult choices and sometimes no choice at all,” Harry said softly.

“I had a choice,” Draco stated.

“And you feel remorse,” Harry said, and then leaned forward to close the distance between them.

Draco shut his eyes and let out a tiny whimper as Harry’s lips touched his own. Harry’s hand wrapped around his back and pulled him tight and then they opened their mouths. Harry tasted of tea and toast and he was warm, so very warm against his body. Draco couldn’t fight it any longer. Harry was the sun and pulling him in by the sheer nature of his gravity. Draco wrapped his arms over Harry’s and kissed him with all caution left in the distance. Their tongues explored and their lips pressed and retreated over and over. Finally, they pulled back just an inch, gasping for breath.

“Is that what you were looking for?” Draco asked, still panting.

Harry nodded several times, his mouth agape and desperately trying to pull in more air. Never one to pass up an opportunity, Draco kissed that open mouth again thoroughly plundering it. Draco worked his hands up over Harry’s shoulders and into that overgrown black mane. It felt so right squeezed between his fingers. Had it been weeks or years that he’d been longing to do that?

One slow step at a time, Harry began to push Draco backwards until they hit the wall. Harry pressed his entire body against him and they both gasped at the contact. Harry’s arms snaked around Draco’s back and his hands reached up and clung to Draco’s shoulders for dear life.

“Yes,” Draco moaned loudly between kisses, just as Harry began to thrust his strained erection against his own.

“I can’t stop,” Harry panted in Draco’s ear.

“Don’t, please, don’t stop.” Draco crushed his mouth back down on Harry’s and their teeth clacked but they kept on kissing.

Harry rutted against him over and over, all the while Draco tugged at his hair and dominated his mouth. Faster and faster, the dry humping continued with Harry frantically setting the pace. It culminated with Harry crying out string of “Oh’s” and “Ah’s” and finally biting down on Draco’s neck as he came in his trousers.

Draco waited a minute as Harry leaned against him to catch his breath before taking Harry’s hand and placing the palm against his crotch. “Finish it, please,” he begged.

It only took several harsh rubs of Harry’s hand for Draco to come hard, crying out Harry’s name as he fell over the edge. They collapsed and sat side by side against the wall.

Harry caught his breath first and said, “I’ve never done that.”

“I’ve never come in my pants either. Quite the mess.” Draco pulled out his wand and cast a non-verbal Cleaning Charm over both of them.

“Thanks.” Harry smiled and looked at Draco lovingly. “What I meant was I’ve never done anything like that.”

“Anything?” Draco asked, surprised.

Harry shook his head.

“You all right?”

“More than all right. That was…that was…amazing.”

Draco chuckled a little and leaned on Harry’s shoulder. Soon their breathing evened out and they drifted off to sleep.

“Draco, wake up.”

Draco stirred as Harry gently shook his body and kept whispering for him to wake up.

“Huh?” Draco wiped his eyes. “What time is it?”

“After one. We missed lunch.”

“That’s the first thing you have to say to me,” Draco said with a big smile.

“I’m hungry.”

“Well so am I,” Draco said seductively, and leaned over for a kiss.

Harry happily obliged. After a few solid minutes of snogging, Draco pulled back and said, “Good.”

“Good what?”

“That you still feel like kissing me.”

“Yes, I still feel like kissing you and more than that too. But first…” Harry stood and held out his hand to Draco. “I need sustenance.”

Draco took his hand and let Harry lead him down to the kitchen where he was happily surprised to find a half dozen house-elves tripping over themselves to make them some lunch. With full bellies they both sipped a lovely Earl Grey and leaned back in their chairs.

“Can I ask you something?” Harry questioned with a slight hesitation.

“Sure.”

“You and Zabini?”

“Ah…yes, but that was over some time ago.”

“Good,” Harry said with a wide grin.

“I never knew about this kitchen,” Draco said, changing the subject.

“Yep, sure came in handy.”

A very old and ratty looking house-elf approached them and said, “Is there anything else that Master Harry requires?”

“That’ll be all, thank you, Kreacher.”

“Is he yours?” Draco asked in disbelief.

“Actually, yes. I inherited him from my godfather, Sirius Black.”

“Sirius Black was your godfather? My cousin?” Draco had never heard that. “Wasn’t he in prison for killing a town of Muggles or something?”

“No, it was Peter Pettigrew who betrayed my parents and framed Sirius.”

“Wormtail?”

Harry nodded. For the next two hours, Draco sat enraptured by Harry’s story of his parents, Sirius Black, Professor Lupin and Pettigrew. He told him of how he came to know Black at the end of their third year and how Black had died in the Department of Mysteries at the wand of his Aunt Bellatrix. It was not lost on Draco just how truly little he knew of Harry’s life from his past to even the most recent events. When Harry got to the part about his inheritance, he looked exhausted.

“Come with me,” Draco said gently, and held out his hand.

They walked hand in hand back to the Slytherin dungeon. They were barely through the door when they started kissing again. Somehow, Draco managed to steer them over to the sofa and guided Harry onto his back.

Draco looked down and smiled wide as Harry looked up at him with desperate need. Draco teased, “I like you like that.”

“Like what?” Harry choked out.

“Waiting for me.” Draco climbed on top and positioned his legs between Harry’s. Nose to nose, they stared at each other with anticipation.

“Don’t make me wait too long,” Harry pleaded.

Draco kissed him hard, pressing him into the sofa cushions. They tried to turn on their sides to remove their shirts but nearly fell off. Harry pulled out his wand and enlarged the couch to the size of a double bed.

“Better?” Harry asked.

Draco rolled to his side and began to lift Harry’s t-shirt over his head. “Much better,” he said, throwing the shirt across the room and then placing a series of kisses down the front of Harry’s chest.

Harry giggled.

“You okay?” Draco looked up.

“Mmmm, just tickles.”

“You’ve never done anything? Not even with a girl?”

“Just kissing,” Harry answered.

“And you never thought about blokes?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. Draco studied his embarrassed expression for a moment before he stated, “You were busy.”

Harry nodded and Draco kissed him again, tingling with the notion that he was snogging the virgin-eighteen-year-old-savior-of-the-wizarding-world.

Despite it being summer, Draco was wearing a long sleeved white linen shirt. Harry began to undo the buttons while nibbling on Draco’s ear. They both sat up and Harry slowly peeled off the shirt drinking in the sight of Draco’s smooth fair skin. Draco pulled out of the arms and Harry stared at the unblemished left forearm.

“You don’t have the Mark,” Harry said in awe.

Shaking his head Draco said, “I wasn’t deemed worthy.”

Harry raised Draco’s arm to his lips and kissed it from wrist to elbow. He then looked up and said, “I think you’re worthy.”

Reaching around the back of Harry’s head, Draco pulled him up for another fierce kiss. As Draco kissed him, Harry’s confidence grew and his hands began to explore and caress Draco’s chest, arms and back. Draco moaned into Harry’s mouth and reached for the button of Harry’s trousers.

When Harry stilled, Draco asked, “This all right?”

Harry responded by kissing Draco hard and slipping his fingers into the waistband of Draco’s fine tailored slacks. They kissed and touched and undressed in a cloud of wonder. When their nude bodies were pressed in full length together they both let out a loud moan. Draco reached for Harry’s cock and gently pushed back the foreskin. Harry slid his hand down to wrap around Draco’s and began to mirror the other man’s actions. It didn’t take much stroking at all before they were both coming over each other’s fist and crying out in sweet relief.

After they were cleaned up and snuggled under a blanket, Draco pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s temple and said, “They’re going to come looking for you.”

“I’ll send my Patronus to Hermione.” Harry sat up and grabbed his wand. A minute later his stag was galloping off with a message that all was fine and that he was simply taking a break with Draco.

“That’s fantastic,” Draco complimented.

“What’s your Patronus?” Harry asked.

“Don’t know, never produced one.”

Harry grabbed Draco’s wand from the table and handed it to him. “No time like the present.”

“I’m not sure I know how,” Draco said, taking the wand.

“Just say ‘Expecto Patronum’ and think of a happy memory, something that makes you warm and joyful.”

“I think I can think of something,” Draco replied with a sly smile. He took a steadying breath and cast the spell, “Expecto Patronum!”

A wisp of silver erupted from the end of his wand and swirled into the shape of a hare. The animal scurried about the room twice and then dissolved.

“Excellent,” proclaimed Harry, before pulling Draco’s wand hand to his lips and kissing it tenderly.

@@@@@@@@

On Sunday August 30th, a public ceremony was held for the re-opening of Hogwarts. Naturally, Harry, Weasley and Granger were involved in the proceedings. It was held just outside of the main entrance. Draco stood in the back with both his parents. Lucius had been given special permission from the Ministry to attend. Draco suspected that it was Harry’s doing, but said nothing and decided to enjoy the morning with his parents without worrying about the implications. The service was thankfully not too long and it concluded with a dedication to those who had died in the final battle. It was during the minute of silence when Draco accepted that the nightmare was truly over.

Using good judgment, his parents decided to forgo the grand tour and Great Hall reception that was to follow. His father smiled and clasped Draco’s shoulder as they said goodbye. Draco thought that his father looked much better than he had in a very long time.

His mother pulled him into a warm embrace and whispered, “I knew you would find your future here.”

“Thank you, Mother.”

“I love you, Draco.”

“I love you, too.”

Draco watched his parents walk arm and arm towards the gates. As he turned back to Hogwarts, he saw the last of the sizable crowd filing in through the large castle doors. A lone figure stood to the left of the doors watching him.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked when Draco had joined him.

“I think so.”

Harry smiled at him and Draco couldn’t help but return it.

“You did really well up there today,” Draco said, referring to Harry’s performance at the ceremony.

“It helped knowing that you were here.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

“You ready?” Harry extended his hand and Draco took it in his own.

“Yes. Let’s go in.”

The End